Bite Size And Girthy. Issue #132

Sounded better than "Sample Size And Rotund"...and twice and wrong.

"Bite Size" for the many small cool things I wanted to talk about but ended up neglecting over the past few weeks, and "Girthy" for amount of amazing food I've been sampling. Let's get to the chewy middle (prefer the edges though)....




KIRBY KRACKLE got back pictures we did for our photoshoot with L.A. native Joshua Stearns a few weeks ago and they kick Costco-size ass. Gonna wait to show the official ones when the album gets closer to release (early 2010), but above is one of the outtakes recently posted on Joshua's site. No, we're not like Slipknot now or anything, but it was taken at the end of the day and I still really like it. What was the best was that passive NW aggressiveness was in full affect as people walked around and actually many times right through that shot like nothing was going on. It seems it takes much more than some guy looking like he got attacked by a crayon in a vampire mask to get a rise these days. We're all numb...




One of the personal highlights of the Holiday season is the Jolin annual cookie making party hosted by Tim and Meg Jolin and their beautiful daughter Kate. Every year they bake up hundreds of cookies and invite folks over to make their very own holiday creations with all the fixings on hand. Blue frosting for your star? They have it. REESE'S PIECES for your house shingles? Look to your left. Bowls of edible decorations take over tables as believers of Christmas young and old are encouraged to make as many as they want. It's really fun and I'm glad I was around this year to make it.








So, last week my ear was driving me nuts. Not as in there was water in there or the plugged up way but more in the "I don't care if I rip apart my eardrum this itch needs to stop NOW". Normally, when I don't feel well I visit my naturopath I've seen for years and this time was no exception. This is why I love this place. The solution that ended up working? THE LASER. Yes, and those who know me know that anytime I can include a laser into my life...I'll do it. The laser and I have been friends for some years now. When I had throat problems earlier in the year...the laser helped. When my elbow went wonky after pulling it last year...the laser healed it. You could say we have a co-dependent relationship, and I don't care it you're right. I NEEDS IT...MY PRECIOUS. Supposedly there is a big book that goes along with this laser and after looking up what ails you, the doctor punches in the corresponding code and voila! It knows what do and how to do it. Sounds crazy I know, but guess what? After shining over my head holes for 5 minutes, the ear is still intact and mo betta. Dopeness. Thanks laser...we coo.





I've talked about my friends Britt and Vicki in UTERUS PARADE here a few times before. If you don't know who they are, Jim and I met them in Toronto when we went there promoting KK in August, and ended up getting a picture from them as a "nice to meet you" gift that was a guitar covered with giant penises. In fact, I've never posted it cause it's just too repulsive...and brilliant. So, what you need to know about Vicki and Britt is that they are horrible women. Imagine if witches were alive. They smack little kids with their purses in department stores and the sound of babies crying gives them joy. They have 6 eyes between the two of them and smell like sulfur. Also, I really like their art. This is why after chatting with them on facebook the other day for an hour (because the sound of their voice will turn you to stone), they said they had a drawing of me to share they had done during our conversation. Excited, I asked them to send it over cause #1: I've never been in a cartoon/comic before and #2: I'm possibly a narcissist. And what would my first cartoon represent as I made my debut into a cell-shaded world? Well, it turns out they think I'm repressed and the reason I got a divorce is because I'm gay. Thanks, guys. Thanks. Whenever the US wants to invade Canada is fine with me. See more of their monstrosities HERE.




If you follow my twitter stream (www.twitter.com/kylebstevens), you probably think I do nothing sometimes but drive around and eat pastries all day. I wish. Instead, I just really like taking pictures of food. Like people who take pictures of their shot game on hunting trips, I like to document my conquests. This past week I had some of the best "eating out" selections I've had in while, and as a wannabe foodie, I thought I'd share in case anyone is looking for something new to try.

First off, FAMOUS DAVE'S. Yeah, I know it's "The Olive Garden of BBQ" but I don't care. It's amazing. I'm a condiment man and if your idea of a free appetizer is sampling the six different BBQ sauces straight from bottle-to-spoon, then you're gonna be in heaven. Seattle isn't very receptive to new BBQ establishments (they keep shutting down) so if it takes a chain to get my fix then that's what it'll be. I recommend the BBQ chicken nachos. *uurrrp*





I love pie. Not much more I can say to get that point across, so when I heard the latest press push in the home-style hype surrounding the new SEATTLE PIE COMPANY I knew I had to make it over to Magnolia to try it for myself. Opening the doors, I was greeted by the warm buttery smell of ovens doing what they do best and felt like I was walking into my grandma's house, minus the reminder that I "better not have my hat on". The owners are a very sweet couple that began chatting me up and I could tell they really liked what they did, and knew they did it well. Nothing wrong with that. All the reviews said to try the Meatloaf sandwich so I knew that was a no brainer, but the choice on pie was overwhelmingly difficult. Banana, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut...all with filling about 2 1/2 inches high. Fruit pies of all traditional flavors with picture perfect crust. I ended up going for the Strawberry Rhubarb (my favorite) and I have to say it truly was the best pie I've ever had...other than my grandma's (subjective much?). The meatloaf sandwich truly was THE BEST I have ever had and I would highly recommend it to anyone. I can't wait to go back and feel it's worth the new pants I know are coming in the new year cause of it.


Other than stuffing my face I've been really busy in The Orange Room (my studio) for the past week everyday finishing up the demos for the new KK album. Just about to receive the finished cover art as well which I cannot cannot cannot wait to share when the time is right. Good things to come!

Booyah,

KS